


Somebody I Can Love (that's gonna love me back)

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Ready Player One (2018), Ready Player One - Ernest Cline
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexy Content, Intimacy, Post-Movie, Relationship Discussions, Trans Female Character, Trans Samantha Cook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 09:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14282493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: Wade and Samantha discuss moving their intimacy out of the OASIS, and into the real world.





	Somebody I Can Love (that's gonna love me back)

**Author's Note:**

> so, disclaimer--i haven't ever read the book, i only saw the movie, and even then, i wasn't super in love w/ the movie. yet, here i am. i'm here to deliver some trans samantha content, bc it's what the world deserves. the scene in the film when wade calls her sam, and she shakes her head, insists on samantha? that's all the proof i need that trans samantha is canon.
> 
> mm anyway, big thanks to hannah (cathect) and weirdly enough my own mom (i wanted a book reader's eyes on it before posting) for beta'ing. hope you guys like it!

Really, Wade thinks nothing of it.

_The glittering curve of a salacious grin as she skirts a hand down his chest._

After all, they’ve known each other longest in the OASIS. It’s always been where Wade feels most comfortable, and it’s no surprise that Samantha shares his sentiment.

_The phantom feeling of her breath on his neck, real life goosebumps running from the hinge of his jaw down to his shoulder. The sting of digital yet oh-so-real nails biting into his arms as she holds him close, tight, desperately._

Even with the mandatory days off implemented, there’s something easy and fulfilling about spending time together in the OASIS, still.

_The pseudo warmth of her legs caging in his thighs, coupled with the thrill of knowing other people can see them. The disruptive chill as she moves in his lap, away and back, away and back. Her breasts_ _—_ _real and not, digital and physical fucking with his head_ _—_ _against his own chest; her hands in his hair, her gasping breath in his ear as he touches her too._

Besides, if anything… there’s almost something thrilling about it.

The thought makes Wade blush but it’s _true_.

They can’t do _much_ in the OASIS: trying to kiss _Art3mis_ is weird when Wade knows what kissing _Samantha_ is really like. But they can touch, though, and the touching… It drives Wade _crazy_ _—_ in a good way!

It’s maddening, to feel Samantha’s hand mapping up and down his side, across his chest, over his thighs. It’s even more frustrating to do the same to her, but in a _very_ good way. It’s like saving the world has opened the floodgates, and sometimes they just can’t keep their hands off one another. Aech teases them relentlessly for it, and it stops them. Usually. Some of the time.

At least, until they’re alone.

_The ghost of a kiss over his lips, the urge to tear off the headset and simply go to her in their apartment, to pour his everything into kissing her. A laugh, just this side of sharp, as he tries to follow her when she pulls away. Rhythmic tugging of his hair, the fluttering of her eyes as he reaches for her. Their keening, breathless moans intertwining in the minimal space between them, tucked into an alcove of the OASIS away from prying eyes._

“I know that look,” Samantha taunts as she comes into the room. The door to their apartment falls shut behind her, and she locks the deadbolt. She strips off her jacket and lays it over the back of a chair. “You’re being a pervert again.”

Wade grins, a little sheepish and a lot guilty. “Got me.” He raises his hands in surrender and Samantha walks until her hips fit into his palms. He looks up at her, how she’s got her hair pulled back and the birthmark over her eye is bright under the midday sun. Wade can’t help a grin and rises from where he sits. He leans in to kiss her and brings one hand from her waist to cup her cheek instead.

“Hello to you too,” she says with a laugh against his lips. Her eyes flutter open slowly as they pull back, and her smile is contained but vibrant. “Good day?” She asks as she finally steps out of his grasp and wanders over to the kitchen.

Wade follows a little haplessly at her heels, eager to be close to her as much as possible. “Lazy day,” he corrects. “But good.”

Samantha rolls her eyes and starts to rummage through the fridge. “What were you thinking about that had you all zoned out?” She asks, her voice muffled by the sides of the fridge as she digs. She smirks at him as she stands with her arms full of ingredients to make stir fry. She looks away from him while she starts to cook—slicing this, mincing that—but the quirk of her lips says she wants an answer.

Wade swallows nervously and wills his blush to burn out; it doesn’t, he knows it won’t, but he stills tries. “Uh.” He laughs, runs a hand through his hair. “Just, us.”

Samantha hums as she chops chicken breasts into equal chunks. “Us, huh?” She’s still smiling though, and there’s even a faint flush on the apples of her cheeks now. Wade feels emboldened by the splash of color, and he leans on the counter with a renewed grin of his own.

“Yeah, us. In the OASIS, and how…” He swallows as he trips over the words that, for a moment, seemed like they might flow smoothly. “How we are, there.” He finishes lamely.

Samantha raises an eyebrow without actually looking at him. “How we are, there,” she mimics, deadpan.

“Are you gonna repeat everything I say?” He asks without heat.

Samantha finally laughs and shakes her head. “Sorry, sorry. You’re just cute when you’re being dumb.” She finally looks up and sets the knife aside. She reaches over the slab of counter between them and strokes his jawline. “I like it,” she reminds him softly, still a little teasing.

Wade turns his head and kisses her palm. “I know.”

Her hand falls from his face as she continues prepping their food. “You don’t have to tell me,” she adds after a moment of silence. “I don’t mind.” And her eyes are so genuine, and the curve of her lips is so inviting, and Wade’s mouth goes dry and cottony looking at her. He can’t _not_ tell her, because he wants to tell her, and because he loves her, and because she’s just.. _her_.

“I want to,” he insists, even though Samantha already knows that. He’s just. “I’ve just never done this before.” He looks down at the counter and searches out a pattern in the somewhat worn, fake marble block. “It’s different, doing this in person.” He huffs out an awkward laugh. “I don’t know what to say.”

Samantha is quiet for a moment, then, “I don’t know either.” She points it out diplomatically, but there’s a quiver in her voice that catches Wade’s attention. “I mean,” the flush on her skin is brighter now, and Wade bites back a laugh. “I like what we do, in the OASIS. It’s… nice. It’s great.”

She stops chopping and mincing and prepping, and takes a deep breath. “There’s something I think we should talk about.”

Wade blinks slowly. He feels a sluggish onset of whiplash take over him as he registers Samantha’s words, her tone. Faintly, it feels like all the air has been pulled from the room. For a second, Wade feels like he’s drowning; his mind flits back to the disco, the rejection, and his heart pounds rapidly. Then his brain buzzes back to life and he’s moving without thinking about it. He pushes off from the counter and walks around to her, and she lets him crowd her against the sink.

“What?” He asks quietly.

Samantha doesn’t look at him right away, but when she does her lower lip is quivering in a way he hasn’t seen since they took down IOI. “I don’t know what to say,” she repeats, with a tiny, wavering smile.

Wade kisses her then and she melts against him. Her hands find purchase in his well-worn tee and he braces his palms on the countertop behind her. They kiss for a few moments, and Wade lets the love and calm he feels fill his lungs like oxygen.

“It’s okay.” He assures as he pulls back. Samantha’s blush is brighter, and she’s a little breathless, funny enough. “After dinner, maybe?” As if queued, Wade’s stomach rumbles between them and it startles a laugh out of Samantha.

Good-naturedly, she shoves him out of the kitchen and he meanders back around to the side of the counter he was at before. He leans his elbows on the marble and watches as Samantha starts again. He watches her gather pans and plates, oil and butter. He watches her light up two of the burners on top, and splash water in the pan to test its heat. He sets the table while she cooks, because he can’t cook worth shit and any attempt to help is rebuked with a roll of her eyes.

Despite the uncertainty in his stomach, Wade doesn’t mind the silence in the least. He trusts her, he can read her now. He’s not quite the same kid he was when he first said _“I love you,”_ and Samantha isn’t the same either.

The quiver in her lips is still there when they bring the food over to their dinky dining room table. They eat tucked into the corner of the apartment next to the window, and the early evening light illuminates their late lunch-slash-early dinner.

Wade waits until both their plates are cleared, then he follows Samantha’s lead. He stands when she does, and they leave their dishes for now. She reaches out and takes his hand to guide him over to their couch. It’s a diversion from their usual chair where they sit wrapped up in one another. The change sets Wade’s teeth on edge. his stomach starting to churn again. But he sits, knees bumping with Samantha’s, on the lumpy couch.

“Sorry,” she breathes, casting a glance at the chair in question. “I just need… some space. For this.”

Wade nods, then does his best to speak around his heavy tongue. “Whatever you need. I love you, you know that.”

Samantha finally grins again and squeezes his hand. “I love you too.” She sits up a little straighter and clearly steels herself for what’s next. “I like what we do, in the OASIS.” She’s looking at him, but not quite head on. Her gaze is a little vacant, a little off from Wade’s face.

He doesn’t mind. He just says, “I do too. You know that.”

They both laugh, breathless and tense.

“We don’t have to do anything else. I like what we’ve got, now.” Wade barges on, well aware Samantha’s pinning him with a half-amused, half-unimpressed stare. The words have started and they aren’t going to stop, they both already know. “I like kissing you in our chair, and holding you. I like sharing a bed with you at night, and waking up to your face. I like touching you—here, and in the OASIS… I like you touching me…” His dry mouth falters to a stop.

Samantha snorts softly. “Lost your train of thought?” She teases, though she does shuffle a little closer on the couch. “I like it all too. And I _do_ want more. I’m just…” She tilts her head back and forth. “Nervous.”

Wade opens his mouth but Samantha raises a hand to silence him.

“I know you’re nervous too, but I think we’re nervous for different reasons.” She speaks analytically but no less impassioned. Wade finds himself hanging on every word, but that’s hardly anything new.

“I haven’t been with anyone like that, either.” She says, harkening back to their earlier discussion. “It was never the time or the place.” She smiles mostly to herself, then shrugs. “But that’s not really why I’m nervous.

“I trust you, Wade. I’ve already trusted you with my life. Sex with you?” She doesn’t trip over the word, even though Wade’s heart is doing double-time in his chest. “That just doesn’t seem… as enormous.” She finally looks at him, and leans in to steal a chaste kiss off his lips. “I’m just worried what you’ll think. Of me.”

“Of you?”

Samantha smiles, but this time it’s a little sad, softer. Her lips tug down further after a moment and her gaze drops to their laps.

“Samantha,” Wade urges. He leans in and rests his hands on her shoulders. “I love you.” He pushes the word out as earnestly as he can—and thinks he sounds maybe a little crazed. He doesn’t care. “I love you,” and he kisses her again. His hands climb and drift over her neck, up to cup her jaw. “I love you, Samantha Cook.”

Samantha smiles into the next kiss but eventually pushes him back. “I love you too.” Her voice is steadier now and her hands reach for him. “Promise this won’t change anything?” She whispers.

Wade nods, and just as quietly replies, “Promise.”

Samantha takes another deep, fortifying breath. “I’m transgender.”

Wade blinks.

Samantha stares at him intently and gnaws on her lower lip.

“Er.” Wade blinks again and absently strokes his thumbs over Samantha’s cheeks. “Okay.” He says slowly.

Samantha laughs, but her expression quickly sombers. “Wade, do you…”

“Of course I know what it means,” he says quickly, words tumbling out in a semi-garbled rush. “I know what—what that means.” He looks down for a moment then darts his gaze back to Samantha’s face, flushing guiltily. He finds Samantha smiling at him, impossibly fond, and some of the nerves dissipate from his chest. “Okay.” He says.

She lays her hands over his, where they’re still cupping her cheeks. “Okay?” Her lips twist in a wry grin, and they both roll their eyes for a moment.

Wade nods, though; he nods and leans closer and nearly bumps their noses together. “Yeah.” He kisses her again and she sighs into his mouth. “Thank you, uh, for telling me.”

Samantha snorts. “Thank you for listening,” she says, only partially teasing. “It really doesn’t change anything.” It’s a statement but Wade hears the lilting question underneath, and he shakes his head.

“Doesn’t change anything,” he agrees. “God, we’ve really gotta stop, y’know, doing that.”

“Doing that?” Samantha repeats, and lets out a peel of laughter when Wade pinches at her cheeks. “No, no, you’re right.” She holds his hands in her lap and strokes her fingertips over his knuckles. “Did you have… any questions?” She asks slowly, haltingly, and sort of cringes as the words fill the air.

Wade opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. Then, closes it again, and hums to himself. All the while, Samantha’s watching him with a cautiously amused stare, waiting him out. Eventually, Wade opens his mouth and manages to actually speak.

“I mean, yes?” He looks at her, at her wide eyes and wider smiler. “Like—when, uh, when did you transition? And, uh, I guess.” Without really meaning to, he looks her over once, and his gaze snaps back to her face. “But, like. Just.” He laughs and pulls away from her to run his hands through his hair. “It doesn’t change anything,” he says again, because those are the only words he can think of.

“It doesn’t change anything, because you’re still Samantha Cook, you always will be. You’re still my girlfriend, and we still saved the OASIS together. And, I mean, we saved the world.” He grins at Samantha. “I don’t really have specific stuff I want to ask… I just wanna learn, I guess. What it means for you, and what it’ll mean for us. And, y’know, what makes you feel good. Basically, stuff I wanted to learn anyways.”

Samantha is smiling back at him, biting her bottom lip to keep herself in check. “I love you, Wade Watts.”

She leans in and kisses him sweetly, softly, until her tongue swipes along the seam of his lips and he lets her in with a gasp. His hand slide from her lap to her waist and she braces herself on his shoulders. Fluid and swift she slides into his lap and presses him against the back of the couch.

Their hands stray a little: his to the curve of her back, hers to his hair. But the kiss is slow and easy; even the weight of her in his lap is familiar and unassuming. Wade loses himself in the kissing and light, sensual touches. He moans quietly and she mirrors him, gasping and sighing, meeting him breath for breath.

Wade’s brain is pleasantly foggy and he’s well aware he’s hard in his jeans when Samantha pulls back with a smirk.

“So, you said you wanted to learn, right?”

It takes a second for Wade to catch up, but once Samantha’s words register he’s nodding. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

Samantha slides off his lap and holds out a hand. “C’mon, then.” He lets her pull him off the couch and lead him to their bedroom. She drags him onto the bed and they fall in a tangle of laughter and limbs. Wade grins down at Samantha once she’s settled on her back, pressed up against his side. She tilts up to kiss him and breathes into his mouth—

“Lesson number one starts right now.”

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from the _sixteen candles_ quote, "I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. Is that psycho?"


End file.
